


Wings

by WhatDoYouMeanIts1amAlready



Series: What's Written on the Walls [2]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: (tags go for both points of view and are different cause i didnt wanna be repetative), Basketball, F/F, F/M, High School AU, M/M, THEY'RE DORKS, angst will come, fluffeth, high school is a weird place, lots of my random weird not so philosophical thoughts that i like to think are, marco's really lonely, struggles, this is just a really cute sweet one...for now
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-05
Updated: 2015-01-11
Packaged: 2018-02-28 06:29:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,093
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2722157
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhatDoYouMeanIts1amAlready/pseuds/WhatDoYouMeanIts1amAlready
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I'm Marco Bodt and I love basketball. I have a great boyfriend named Jean, some friends that I'm still not comfortable around, and I'm struggling through high school. Wonder if I can make it through? Well, I have Jean so I'm sure it'll be fine..right?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Practice

Ring. Ring. Ring. Ring. The school bell called. I'm not sure why I always counted, even though it was always the same.

I was happy to be done with the lecture, but at the same time I didn’t really want to get up, so I took my time putting my things away and was one of the last ones out of the class.

I made my way toward the library, where my boyfriend was undoubtedly drawing Jennifer Lawrence, again. Since it was sunny out I figured he would be sitting out on the steps instead of inside the building, and, sure enough, when the library came into view, there he was.

As a grin slowly spread across my face, I kept walking and called out to him.

"Hey baby!" I called. Nope, he didn’t even look up. "Baby! Jean! Hey Kirschtien! Yo, shitty boyfriend! Hellooooo! Jean!" But then I just felt like an idiot calling out repeatedly to no response so I waited the couple seconds it took for me to get to him and poked his arm as I whined his name. he finally looked up, huzzah!

Simultaneously, he pulled his ear buds out, which explains why he couldn’t hear me before. Well, at least he wasn’t just ignoring me.

God he's so cute.

Well, after talking again about his many, many drawings of Miss Katniss Everdeen, I helped him up and he put his stuff away, then took my bag to carry it for me, and after took my hand to hold and I maybe blushed a little.

We made our way to the gym, where we split with a quick kiss, him heading to the bleachers and me to the locker room.

After walking into the locker room, I remembered that Jean had my stuff and headed back to the bleachers to find him, but as I was heading out the door, guess who was heading in, with my bag. That's right, I have an awesome boyfriend.

I took the bag and kissed his cheek before turning back to my locker and throwing my stuff in there as Jean disappeared behind the door again.

"Hey guys," I called to the other boys in the locker room.

A chorus of "hey" came in reply.

I quickly changed into my shorts and basketball shoes.

By the time I was finished Connie had come up to me and jumped onto my back. I was shitless. This is normal, oddly enough though. Reiner came to help me and pried the little bald monkey off of me so could throw my jersey on.

With Reiner still holding Connie, Con said "let me g-," before cutting off and breaking out into 'let it go' from frozen and Reiner clicked him on the head.

"Idiot," he mumbled. "So, how're you doing, Marco? I see you and Jean are still going strong."

"I'm great, and yeah we are," I blushed. "How about you?"

"I'm doing pretty awesome, since Bert's on the team I get to see him more than I used to, which is really great."

"Yeah, I'm sure, glad you guys are doing well. You ready for practice?"

"Hell yeah!"

Then we headed out into the gym. Most of my guy friends joined the basketball team, Reiner, Bertl, Connie, and Eren, were all players and Annie was our manager. The other guys I didn't talk to as much, but we were able to play as a team and that was what mattered.

I looked up to the bleachers where Jean was sitting in his usual spot in the bottom left corner, two rows up, in between Sasha and Levi.

I smiled and gave a quick wave to my boyfriend on my way onto the court before turning to Annie and focusing on the drills.

I love basketball. Despite Annie making practices close to something like hell, I looked forward to it everyday. The court was the one place I could think...or not think. It cleared my head, and if I was having problems and things I needed to think through, playing basketball was the best way to do it. It cleared my head so that I could focus on one thing at a time, and that was a very helpful thing, I've learned. All of my friends seem to think I'm this good-hearted, kind man that wouldn't hurt a soul. But the only reason I'm sane is because of basketball. Well that and I suppose having some good friends helps too.

Sometimes I wonder how other people get this feeling. Reiner, Connie, Eren, and Jean all play football at the beginning of each school year. Jean also has his art and Levi. Mikasa has Eren and tennis. Armin has textbooks. Levi cleans and has Jean. Sasha eats and has Connie. I'm just taking things that we find comfort in. But this feeling is special, so I wonder if that's what actually triggers it.

Or maybe for some it's confiding in people, I know Jean always feels better after he talks to Levi. Maybe someday Jean and I will be each other's thing that can keeps us sane. I mean, I know I can never replace Levi as Jean's best friend, but I think I'd like it if I were able to trust someone that much, and that person also put that much trust in me. At the same time, it also seems a bit scary, to give yourself over to someone that much. To let them know everything and trust that they won't leave you and that they'll be your rock, the one thing that's always there for you that you can always go back to. I don't know if I'd be able to trust someone like that, but if I can bring myself to do it, I think I'd like that person to be Jean.

My shoes made that squeaky noise against the basketball court as I attempted to block Connie, but he's too fast and I end up losing my balance and falling as he runs around my flailing limbs. Well, that's going to bruise later. I looked up to Jean in the bleachers as Eren helped me up and gave him a thumbs up while flashing a smile to show him I was okay and he returned it.

After Annie dismissed us, Eren, Connie, and I each grabbed a ball as we waited for Jean, Levi, and Sasha to join us on the court so we could play together a bit. Each couple took a different hoop and played together, which we usually did a couple times a week together.

Jean's not bad at basketball, but he liked it when I wrapped my arms around him and guided his shot so I did with the first one, pecking him on the cheek before running after the ball. Once I had it again, we played horse and then went to the locker room so I could change.

As soon as we were alone Jean pushed me up against the lockers and we had a really great make out session. It lasted multiple minutes. It was awesome.

When Jean pulled away I just looked down at him for a moment. His face was flushed, he was breathing hard, had both of our drool all over his chin, and messy hair(courtesy of me). Fuck he's so good looking.

I licked away the trails of saliva on his face then buried my face into his neck wrapping my arms around his thin body. He ended up wiping away the drool I'd left on his face with the back of his hand, which is probably for the best. I just held him like that for a moment, before placing my lips on his neck and kissing it a few times before he pulled me up for more mouth kisses.

After a moment, I pushed him away, reminding him that the others were still in the gym and would probably come back in soon as well. I also told him I was still sweaty and gross and in my basketball uniform, but he didn't really seem to mind.

After a change of clothes for me, we walked outside in the cold air, playing with our breath which was currently visible to us, as we held hands on the way to Jean's car.

"Aren't you cold, Jean?" I asked.

"Nah, are you?"

"A little."

He then let go of my hand and I was a bit disappointed, but it didn't last very long because he put his arm around my shoulder and pulled me close to him and I sort of ungracefully fell into him but that turned into my hugging him as we walked. It was great, but the car was just in the parking lot which wasn't very far and I didn't want to let go.

"Babe? C'mon, I thought you were cold? Let's get you warm," Jean said as we approached the car and I wasn't letting go.

"Don't wanna."

"Don't wanna what? Get warm?"

"No, get in the car. I don wanna let go."

"Then don't."

He opened the passenger door and adjusted the seat as far back as it would go, me still clinging onto him the whole time, and hopped in, pulling me in after him. After he closed the door, I attempted to sit in his lap facing him, but I couldn't fit my legs anywhere and gave up, settling for laying my back against his chest while holding his hand. He reached over and turned the car on, turning the heat all the way up before returning to our original position.

"Jean?"

"Hm?"

"I'm really happy."

"Me too."

"I've never really had this...thing with anybody else before."

"What thing? A girlfriend and-or boyfriend?"

"No, I've had those before but not like this."

"Yeah, I guess I haven't either. Hey, Marco?"

"Hn?"

"Who was your first kiss?"

"Hmm...does it really matter?"

"I guess not, but I sort of need someone to be jealous of."

"Why would you be jealous of them? It's in the past. Besides, it's not like your first kiss is special."

"Everyone says it is...besides, I want to be special to you, I want to make all of the experiences we have together experiences you've only had with me."

"Baby, you're very special to me. And all of the experiences we've had together are special cause we had them together, it won't be like anything I've done with anybody else because I did it with you." I pulled the back of his hand up to my mouth and gave it a small kiss before continuing. "And maybe my first kiss with you was a special one, but my first kiss ever wasn't particularly special to be honest. I think that every first time you do something with someone is special, so no matter how many people I kiss, my first kiss with each person will always be special in a different way no matter what. But you can't change the past, so just settle for maybe being my last kiss."

"Damnit Marco that was a good speech and you killed it at the end," he chuckled, kissing the top of my head.

"We should probably get home soon," I commented, not making any effort whatsoever to get up.

"Yeah, probably." Jean also made no attempt to move.

I turned over so we were laying on the seat stomach to stomach and slowly kissed his lips again, placing my hands on either side of his head and I leaned over in between them. I let myself drop so the whole bottom half of my arms were resting against the seat next to Jean's head. Jean leaned up to kiss me again and I smiled into it before letting my head drop to his shoulder and just laying still with Jean playing with my hair for a while.

After a bit, I finally gained awareness of how late it was getting and pushed myself up into a sitting position to find Jean had actually dozed off(no wonder he stopped pulling at my hair a couple minutes ago). I checked the time, then my phone and sent my mom a quick text that we were leaving the school. I also stole Jean's phone and texted his mom so she wouldn't worry about him. Obviously I took a couple of pictures of his sleeping face.

I attempted to wake Jean up, but it didn't work. Figures. So I adjusted to seat back to sitting up and got into the drivers seat to drive home. I turned the radio on, but not too loudly cause he was just too cute asleep.

Jean and I were both strong enough to carry each other, and both of our parents knew about us and accepted us, so I went inside and explained to my mother how Jean had fallen asleep in the car and asked if he could stay the night. As usual for a Friday, she said yes and I went back outside to carry him up to my bed where I tucked him in.

After a quick shower and brushing my teeth, I hopped into bed next to my boyfriend who woke up as I laid down.

"You should take your clothes off, I know you hate sleeping in jeans."

"Okay," he said, reaching down and pulling his pants off and tossing them off the bed somewhere onto the floor before snuggling up close to me and closing his eyes again.

I cuddled him until we both fell asleep.


	2. Oh no

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WHAT IF JEAN BREAKS UP WITH ME WHAT AM I GOING TO DO WITH MY LIFE

I'm not hated by many people, but I'm not liked by many either. I just float in and out of peoples lives, and I bet most of them dont even remember me. This is how it's been for a long time, nobody ever gets too close, and when I realize that, it makes me see that I've gone through life just waiting for my friends to abandon me each time I make new ones. I'm starting to realize that at the moment, I'm just waiting for Jean to finally leave me too, and I really don't know if my stupid fragile self can handle that.

Jean came to me before school started this morning and told me he had to tell me something after school.

Shit shit shit, this is it, he finally realized what a fuck up I am, I thought.

I attempted to argue and get him to just tell me already, but before I could, the bell rang and he ran off to class after pecking me on the cheek. I tried to get the idea of him dumping me out of my head, but I couldn't. He kissed me before I left, but that was probably just to seem like nothing was wrong.

First period-

It's okay, he has something he needs to tell me, it doesn't have to be a bad thing. Right? I mean, he...he kissed me. He smiled at me like usual...there wasn't anything different! He even looked a bit happy! Yeah! Happy! Something good happened!

Second period-  
Happy happy happy happy happy. Jean looked happy. Right? Maybe he was faking it. Nah, he wouldn't do that...right? Right?!

Third period-  
Oh, there's Jean. Shit, he looks grumpy. Oh wait, he's just glaring at Eren, he must be fine. He actually loves Eren, they're great friends, if he was really upset he'd be getting along with him right now...I think. I mean, he never starts anything with Eren when he's genuinely upset. But, I mean, things can change...what if he's upset at me and taking it out on Eren? Oh god, what did I do?

Fourth period-  
Okay, lunch is coming soon, I'll get to see Jean then. Oh no, I'll get to see Jean then. Shit, what am I going to say? Do I apologize? Do I ask him what's wrong? But I don't want to pressure him into telling me...but I want to know so bad!

Lunch-  
Oh, it's Jean! I'll just go sit with-who's that guys sitting next to him. Why are they laughing? Holy shit what if that's what Jean needs to tell me? Is that why he's in a good mood? Did he finally realize I'm not as great as he thought I was and find someone way better than me? Finding a great partner would definitely make someone happy...I told him I wasn't good enough to date him, I know I shouldn't have gotten my hopes up with him but he kept insisting on how great I was and I got attached. Why did I get attached, I'm so stupid.

Fifth period-  
Why do I suck so much? Like I'm such a fucking loser, of course nobody would want me. I'm dragging Jean down, he could do so much better and there's no way he doesn't know that. Why did he even date me in the first place? God I hate myself, I finally find some wonderful boyfriend, then I go and fuck the whole thing up. Why am I so bad at relationships? Why am I so bad at peple? Why am I so bad at life? I hate everything. Except Jean, I can't hate Jean. He's too great and I never deserved him in the first place.

Sixth period-  
Only an hour left in the day...no. No no no no no no no. The school day can't end, it can't! I don't want to be dumped, not by Jean. I don't want to see him happy and holding and kissing and showing affection to someone else...I don't want to lose him. He's the only real friend I have, what am I going to do with myself?

'Jean, Jean please don't break up with me, I'm begging you'. I'm not allowed to say that, am I? That's so selfish...if he's in love with someone else, then I should let him be happy, right? But...I don't want to let him go. I don't deserve him though, I never did. He had it in his heart to date someone like me in the first place, and that in itself is amazing...he doesn't owe me anything, I can't ask him to stay with me. I'm not a little kid, I can't be weak in front of him, he'll feel bad for me...even so, I'd miss him a lot.

The clock is ticking, but for once I'm not being impatient waiting for it to mark the ending of class so I can go see Jean. For once, I don't want school to end. I don't want the time to keep moving, I want to savor this moment and live in it for as long as possible, because every second that clock hand ticks is another second closer to Jean not being mine anymore. 

\--------

When the bell finally rings, I look up to the clock in horror, hoping it will turn back time for me, even just by a few hours so I can keep being Jean's boyfriend for just a while longer. Sadly, I see that school really is out and my time's just about up.

I drag my feet as I head to my locker, prolonging the inevitable. Maybe if I go slow enough I'll miss him and won't get to talk to him until after practice. That sounds good. As I'm finishing up at my locker and move to close it, Ymir, who's locker is right next to mine, opens her mouth to speak to me. Why. Why would she even-ugh, I'm wallowing in self pity, okay? Can't you see that?

"Hey Marco, so is Jean..."

I can't hear anything after 'Jean'. At the uttering of his name, my ears started ringing as everything else was tuned out. Everything was sort of a blur until I saw Jean in the distance. I was out of breath and outside, and oh look my legs were moving fast. When my surrounding started to slowly fall into place, I realized that I had fucking sprinted from my locker outside to Jean. Do you know how far that is? Probably not, but it's relatively far and school just ended so people were everywhere, I have no idea how I got around during my sort of black out.

I could feel the tears in my eyes, but they weren't falling yet, I put great effort into keeping them from spilling over my eyes and down my cheeks, trying to be as strong as possible. As I stopped just in front of him hunched over and gasping for breath that wouldn't fill my lungs quick enough.

I tried to speak, but Jean told me to breathe as he watched me wheezing in front of him. What a sorry sight I must have been.

After that, no matter how many times I'd told myself not to before, I found myself acting like a small child as I begged Jean not to break up with me, the tears cascading down my face like two mini waterfalls the moment I started to speak.

Jean looked confused at first, listening to me whine, watching me sob my wretched heart out.

After a moment, he realized that I had apparently gotten the wrong idea. All of this, the anxiety and depression, going through the entire day worrying and freaking crying until my eyes were swollen, was for nothing.

What Jean wanted to tell me was that he was surprising me with concert tickets and backstage passes to a band that I liked.

That was it. A concert. No braking up, no sadness, no loneliness, no retreating back into isolation because the one person I'd let in left. None of that. He just kissed me and held me for a bit before I had to make my way to the courts for todays basketball practice.

\--------

When I finally made it to the locker room, out of breath, everyone else was pretty much already changed.

"What took ya so long, Marco?" Connie asked.

"I had to...talk...to Jean," I said in between large breaths.

"Are you okay? Your eyes are kinda puffy. Were you crying?"

"Did Jean hurt you? I swear if he did I'll punch his face in," Reiner added.

"No no, it's fine, it was just a misunderstanding that we cleared up already," I smiled, my breath finally somewhat evening out.

"Hmm alright, well then hurry up and get changed or you'll be late," Eren said.

"Oh! Right!" I said, slightly panicked as I rushed over to my gym locker, stripping as I went.

I think that might've been the fastest I'd ever changed before. In any case, I made it to practice on time, which was important and a relief because Annie would've worked me to death if I'd been late.

On the way out to the court, I spared Jean a glance. He was talking to Levi, probably inviting him to the concert as well. I've always admired their relationship, I'd even say I'm envious or jealous of it to be honest. Not in the sense that I'm jealous of Levi as a person close to Jean, but the way that they're so comfortable around each other, love each other(platonically...maybe even brotherly), tell each other everything, go to each other when they're upset or hurt, when they do a bunch of stupid stuff together and do childish things with each other. I truly wish I had someone like that who I could completely show my true personality to with no boundaries, someone that could be like an emotional 'home'. It sounds very...comforting.

Sqeak.

The sound of shoes scuffing on the wooden floor snapped me out of my thoughts. Time to stop thinking and enjoy my favorite thing to do(besides stare at Jean).

\---------

When practice finished, I found myself in the locker room stripping again. I should just do this for living. I'm getting faster at it which means I must be getting better, right?

I took a quick shower before getting dressed when Eren walked up to me, a towel hung low on his waist and hair still dripping wet from his own shower.

"Hey, Marco. I just wanted to make sure you were okay. You looked like you'd been crying pretty hard earlier, and Jean's a pretty huge dick most of the time, so seriously if he did anything just tell me and I'll teach the dipshit a lesson."

"Thanks Eren, but it really was my fault this time, I was just over thinking things and my thoughts took a turn for the worse is all."

"Oh, I see. Well if you ever need to talk, you could talk to me if you want. I'm not always the greatest to talk to, but if you want to you can. Though, you know who's a really good listener? Reiner. If you ever need to talk, he's your man."

"Thanks, good to know," I laughed.

That was when Levi walked into the locker room. When he opened the door, I could see Jean just outside of it holding Sasha back and telling her that she's not allowed in.

"Levi!" Eren called, running over to him and hugging him hard before kissing his cheek.

"Hey, brat," he said, wrapping his arm around Eren's waist. "There are so many naked gay boys in one place, should I be worried?" he asked.

Reiner and I both laughed as Eren's cheeks turned red. "Of course not, you know you're the only one for me," his face flushed darker as the blush spread to his ears and neck.

"Dry yourself properly brat," he smirked, grabbing my towel that I'd already discarded as I already had pants on. He proceeded to dry Eren's hair out so it stopped dripping then tossed it back to me, thanking me.

"No problem, I laughed, finishing up packing my things when Jean walked in.

"Hey babe," he called.

"Hey, I'll be done in a sec," I smiled, genuinely happy to see him. The thought of him breaking up with me really made me appreciate my boyfriend.

"Alrighty," he said kissing me on the lips then forehead and heading over to talk to Reiner, asking if he was coming to the concert. When it was established that he and Bertl would come, I was ready to go and Jean and I left the locker room, holding hands loosely so as not to make them all sweaty and Jean holding my school bag for me.

When we got to my car, Jean threw both of our backpacks into the back seat then pushed me up against the car door, kissing me hard. His tongue quickly slipped into my mouth as his hands found their way under my shirt, his palms pressing up against my back and pulling me closer to him. I reached up so my arms were around his neck and ruffled his hair with one, the other pressing on his neck, trying to force him as close as possible.

When we broke apart for breath, Jean apologized to me.

"What for?" I asked, panting.

"For today. You thought I was going to break up with you, I made you worry and you were sad and upset and hurt and I never meant to-"

I shoved my lips roughly against his, having finally caught my breath and ready for more kissing. He moaned into the kiss and it sounded absolutely wonderful.

"I like you so much, Jean," I said, again out of breath.

"I like you so much too, Marco," he gave me a quick peck on the lips then started peppering me with kisses all around.

"Jean...Jean you're so great."

"Not as great as you," he said, kissing my neck.

"No no, Jean," I said, pushing him away slightly so I could look at his face. "Thank you for being with me, you make me so happy."

"Me too. Not I make myself happy too, but, you make me so happy too," he said, kissing my forehead. "Let's go home."

"Yeah, let's," I smiled, kissing his cheek before getting into the car and driving us the few blocks over to Jean's apartment.

When we got there, we pulled the books out and did homework like usual. Jean finished before me and made dinner and we ate it like usual. Everything was normal still, and all of my worrying at school was completely unnecessary. Jean made my favorite for dinner, probably still trying to make up for what had happened earlier in the day.

After we ate I finished my homework and Jean informed me that his little sister, Vim, who was the only other person living there, wasn't coming home until tomorrow. Well, I'm sure you can guess what happened next.

If you can't, we simply did...things. Things like kissing and me getting carried over to Jean's bedroom and pulling each others clothes off. It was nice. Until someone knocked on the front door.

Levi called through the door that he was coming into the apartment(he has a key). Jean quickly pulled his pants back on and left the room, still shirtless as I watched his bare back until he closed the door behind him to conceal my nakedness.

As soon as the door was closed, I slowly got up and pulled my clothes back on, my hard on slowly going down as I did. When I was dressed, I flopped back on the bed, waiting for Jean to finish talking.

He walked in a moment later and told me that Levi really needed him, and I was okay with that.

On my way out of the apartment, Levi and I made eye contact and I could see how hurt he was. Jean definitely wasn't lying when he said Levi needed him, he looked almost...broken. I smiled at him, making sure he knew I was okay with leaving so he could talk with Jean. Jean walked me out to my car, kissing me in the elevator on the way down to the parking garage.

I hopped into my car and told Jean to make sure to take good care of Levi, waving as I left and headed home.

However, a couple of minutes after I left Jean house, I realized that Levi was really upset, and what if the cause of it was Eren? What if Eren was really upset? And figured I should go and just check up on him on my way home. And so I did.


End file.
